Still hurts

written on 7th April 

Now it's like limbo. 

A weird moment in our relationship where we both know there are times that we didn't want to be with each other. Not sure if we're growing apart or just under stress. I think about breaking up, but can't really follow through because of doubt that it may not be the right decision. She said also feels the same. I love her but I can't tell about her anymore because I'm absolutely terrified that she doesn't feel the same way, we've been seeing each other for a few months but whenever I bring up a relationship she kind of gets distant and dodges my questions. 

We both just need to calm down to actually get to the bottom of the issues. Maybe both of us could try to take some time off of work to just be together, and if these feelings of detachment persist, then maybe it is time to think about separating. But maybe it is just the stress of our jobs that's getting to the both of us, and I just need to spend some quality time together the get that spark going again. Nothing good comes easy. 

I know all the right things I have to do to make myself a better person and a friend, but she said I just don't do them. I could be better at anything I do but all I do is procrastinate. The end is always the hardest part, I just need to remember that I've worked so hard to get to this point and I can't think of just flush all that down the drain. Just keep thinking about how satisfying it will be to accept my degree and power through it. I love her but she implies me that doesn't want a relationship. I'm afraid I'll have to burn that bridge tomorrow. It's fucking killing me. 

Part of moving on: 

Surround yourself with people that make you feel comfortable in your own skin. If you don't feel at ease when around your friends you'll never truly be able to be yourself. Realize that being yourself is what is going to make you happy, and that it's not worth pretending to be someone else. Don't try to rush into things. You may want everything to happen all at once, but that's not how these things work.Take things slow. Try going out to a cafe or a bar and meeting one or two people, and just try talking to them. Find some common interests and if they're there everything else should fall into place. You just have to put yourself out there and try, and if you get shot down just remember that it happens to everybody and in the end you'll be a stronger person for even trying. If you are worried about being rejected for letting your true colors shine remember that if the people around you don't like the real you then they aren't the people you should be surrounding yourself with. There are other people out there who will appreciate you for you and not what you pretend to be, and you just need to keep that in mind and burn the mask. You can even take little steps if you are more comfortable that way and just take the mask off in small doses, and before you know it it'll be completely off and you'll be so much more happy living life as yourself and not someone you're pretending to be. You'll never truly be able to connect to your friends if you don't trust them enough to be yourself.

Making new friend when depressed

Depression studies have shown that extroversion staves off depression faster than any behavioral method. It sounds odd and impossible making friends will be your best bet. Difficult life situations make seeing life in a different life nearly impossible, but your behavior will change your affect if you stick with it. Instead of addressing issues singularly, try attack multiples with certain activities. Also try new things.

Making friends isn't easy, but it's not impossible. If you find yourself inside a lot, just get outside. Go the the mall, walk around, check out shops, strike up conversations with the employees. Go to the park, dress casual and try not to look creepy, but just hang out and enjoy the sun on your face. Finding those who share interests is the easiest way. Play online games? Make online friends in those games. Coworkers show interest in certain music? Talk to them about it, and find out their other interests. 

The more practice you have with socialization, the easier talking to people will become. Once you've become comfortable talking to people, then making friends will be the next hurdle. Setting up times to hang out and finding activities of shared interest consistently is conducive to maintaining a friendship.

We all choose our friends, as much as they choose us. If you don't feel comfortable around someone, then it would be counterproductive to maintain a relationship with them. All relationships require work, as they don't simply just happen and continue. Take it one step at a time, and try not to rush it.

If you smoke, then finding others who smoke may benefit you as it is a shared interest. I made acquaintances in college because I smoked then. No shame in it. Just avoid people with serious drug problem or if they are into harder drugs than you would like to be a part of. Druggies are one issue, but pot users aren't inherently evil. 

Tips on giving relationship advice

We've all been there..

1. Listen more, Talk less

Never mistake your friend's need to vent as your cue to start doling out wisdom. Sometimes saying things aloud is all a person needs to help themselves. So, be a good friend, open your ears, and keep your mouth shut.

2. Be Cool, Calm, and Collected

When someone comes to you and is hysterical, the last thing they need is for you to be angry, judgmental, or otherwise, in another heightened emotional state. Whether we realize it or not, we feed off of each other's energy. Nothing spells disaster like two hyper-emotional people attempting to have a meaningful conversation. Think of the last time you drunk-dialed an ex. It wasn't pretty was it?

3. No One Wants to Feel Dumb

When someone comes to you for advice, they are usually tip-toeing around the question, "Am I being stupid?". Even if the answer is clearly "yes", you should be just as evasive and refrain from giving such a direct answer. Nobody wants to be told that they are being stupid. Just offer them a chance to view things from another perspective and they'll realize it on their own. Self-realization is so much more lasting and powerful than you chiming in with, "Stop being an idiot, you idiot!"

4. Do Not Hang Their Partner Out to Dry

Watch out for this one. When you bash someone's partner behind their back because you think it will help your friend "see the light", take a wild guess at who won't be invited to the wedding after they get back together? People will always forgive their partners in the end, but they will never forget the hurtful things you said about them when they came running to you for help. Sadly, I don't think you should expect to get a "Thank You" card, even if you were trying to be helpful.

5. Love is Blind

Couples involved in a toxic relationship always get back together because they feel their is something intangible that exists between them that their friends will never understand. Unfortunately, we the friends, are simply trying to show you something that is very tangible and unhealthy that everyone other than you is able to see. When you finally do, it will be like waking up from a bad dream. As a friend, you have to know where to draw the line and when to stop getting involved. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

6. Remember, It's Not Your Relationship

When in doubt, don't say anything at all. Sometimes the best way to save your own friendship with someone is to avoid getting involved in the first place. What you have to say may be the God's honest truth, but who appointed you to be God's messenger? Dating advice is one of those things that is great in theory, but in the end, we learn best from our own mistakes.

source: datingish

Knowledge

Ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of human knowledge out there?

It amazes me, all these different cultures, religions, theories, people...such a massive amount of information. It saddens me that I'll probably only learn a small slither of it in my lifetime.

Knowledge, I will plow through it because absorbing it pleases me and occupies my mind. I won't know all I want but that's not the point. It's about the chase, not the catch. Social wise, I will be experience less unconditional affection from everykind people, something that all the other people might consider normal and an integral part of the human experience.

Don't forget that human knowledge is increasing exponentially. So by the time you die you will know relatively a lot less than you do now. Remember that 90% of everything is shit. So that narrows everything down in order to enjoy worthless knowledge and trivia.

Easy sentences template for _______

• I'm currently ______ with _____. I think that ____ may be ________. How should I ______ with ______?

• I ______ on a _______ with _______. _______ said _________ afterwards. Am I in the _________ or are we _________?

• I'm so _______. I'm gonna be a _________ forever. I don't know why __________ doesn't _____ me. I'm so _______, why am I still a _____?

• There's this _______ I see every _____. I want to ______ ______, but I'm on _____ and have no ___________. How can I ______ ______?