Saturday, November 17

Paying for a relationship

You often hear of people going to a coffee place and the woman having a nice time and all with some guy, but often it's the guy that going over to pay for the drinks rather than the woman. Which makes dating often feel like a chore for the guy, rather than a treat which it usually is for the woman. So women don't think of how to make a night be nice for the guy, while being with the guy. Instead I hear of a lot of women that think of the way to make a nice night for a guy be just letting him do his own thing, which seems counter to my concept of what a relationship should be.

It's why a lot of "nice guys" that women want to be with, generally will feel like not bothering to get with a woman, since it can just mean a whole lot of courting that is really just a way for the woman to have fun on the town at someone else' expense. Maybe I am too young to really have dealt with this kind of stuff to really know how most adults function.

Do you think women have it harder than men? I mean it's easier for women to get in relationships, but look at what happens when they get put in the same situation as men. Girls with an attractiveness level equal to that of guys are automatically placed in higher leagues. It's a social thing. I'm not so sure why girls are more social, perhaps because society has been bent so that even the fattest of the fat of girls think they're pretty.

A gay friend said that straight women have it easier than straight guys, at least in todays society. Things like pay are basically the same for men and women now when they do equal work, so the only thing that really is special to being either sex is relationships, and women have the easier role in relationships since they are the one sought after rather than the one doing the seeking. Women in general have just the easiest possible life, in regards to relationships. But many get stuck thinking of themselves as ultra-special and wonderful, and want to be waited on which just makes guys get tired or frustrated as they try to placate women's desires to be independent and waited on at the same time. How often do you hear about a woman going out and buying a guy a coffee? Or getting a pizza and bringing it by a guy's place to hang out?

Women can be a bit odd about this stuff. I'd really love to hear about a woman that is desperate for a nice boyfriend, that actually goes out of her way to do something nice for guys on a regular basis. Because I really can't believe it ever happens. 

Money usually means something to people, and the whole gesture of paying for something is also meaningful to people. The idea that one person should be the one to bare that burden is one of inequality especially in a relationship. Do whatever you feel is right, maybe take turns, it really doesn't matter to me. It's not about equality, it's about paying for something, it's not a big deal don't make it into one. Don't worry about money so much, go for a walk in the park or some shit if you don't want to spend money. 

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