Ignore them

A self-righteous person is not someone whom you should try to impress. The first  week of April already has passed, what I have gained so far in my office? I am willing to give time to projects other than my own but most of my gestures are not commented upon, not even noted. I want to look for direct praise, I have to find a way to point subtly to my extra effort. ..honestly I have been suspecting of those who wish to derail my good intentions, I learned from the last time of my missing performance evaluation.

Nothing is sharp and clearly defined lately, and I am not expecting too much of clarity to arise. Fortunately, I have notice that dealing with ambiguity is something of a specialty of mine.

Emotional upheaval distracting me from a bigger problem. I won't let this drama get in the way of helping her who really needs my help. My partnership with RE is based on give and take. Right now I understand that RE needs to be on the receiving end. I try to let her know that she can count on me, and I am eager to give my love to her freely.

I cannot stop beating myself up. My problem is that I can't be clear about what I want, everything else quite as well. I know that isn't a crime for this inability to decide where I want to go next. This current fuzzy perspective is making trivial issues look like real problems. Making real problems look like simple things.. Maybe if I make trivial tasks my priority things will just work themselves out..

Name it Shaquayla and give it an Alicia Keys soundtrack

Today, major studios won't purchase or develop anything that isn't based on a comic book or theme park ride or board game or whatever. Only a very small percentage of screenplays are ever made into films, and only a small percentage of films are ever distributed widely. Best bet is either to learn to direct yourself, or meet a young, up-and-coming director who is interested in your script.

Best thing to do is to write something that could be made into a film on a very, very low budget. It should take place in only a small number of everyday locations, should have only a few characters, and shouldn't contain too much crazy, expensive shit, basically. You have to actually write the script, and if you want it to even have a chance, it needs to be flawlessly structured and entertaining. Meaning, you're going to revise/ rewrite about 50 times. But you don't just "send it somewhere" and then it's a movie. That was very rare even in the earlier days of cinema. Unless you're already famous, and your work has made lots of money for lots of people, you can do absolutely nothing with a "scenario."

Closing a door

I feel tense over all the change and activity going on around me. Everything was a walk in the park but now I supposedly have to rely on a map on my hand without clear directions to go. I want to see some progress right away.

50th post, will make a proper celebration posting tonight.. :D