Perseverance only takes you so far

The beauty of life.

Mystery and adventure.

Everyone out there seeks some sort of solution, escape, or salvation, and somewhere out there, it exists. Somewhere out there, is the solution to everybody's problems. No matter what.

Somewhere out there is that one movie that you've never seen or book you've never read or song you've never heard or game you've never played, but if you do it would become your favorite of all time. Somewhere out there is that one job that's just right for you. Somewhere out there is the professional who knows the loophole that you can exploit if you still want food on your table. Somewhere out there, there is that one girl or guy who would fuck you regardless of how unattractive or disfigured you are.

And one thing that I find most unfair about this world, is that the people who died unhappy, didn't die that way because what they were looking for didn't exist. It is because it did exist, and probably still does. They just couldn't find it. I don't know whether or not to take comfort in the thought that even if you find the "solution, escape, or salvation", you'll have a new problem that requires a new "solution, escape, or salvation" the next day.

People will never be happy or satisfied, it's just part of being human. Evolution made us that way because that longing for the solution made us better animals.

You know what I think the saddest thing about life is?

Contentedness

Being content is not the same as being complete. If a solved scenery puzzle is a complete state of mind, to be content is to be able to share each piece if puzzle for people I care without forgetting the scene.

I will see you again when I see you, Ling :)

I'll just stick with my own style, being deep is tiring.

50th post. Wow, just when I was starting a bit pessimistic apparently I did reach the golden line.

I hope it is understandable when I say I feel overwhelmed by the series of events happening in this week. I feel like I am doing too much, yet nothing gets done. I have been listening to some old music again (just 90s music in general, but its kinda sound old now) and I have busy myself with paying the bills and fees for the house. Neither are therapeutic nor anywhere fun. Have I been very moody? No, certainly cannot count on that. Maybe having a lot things going on my mind that cause my lack of empathy for the Haiti problem (though without making senseless ruckus here, I'd say those Haitian people get their help mad easy). Fun comes in the form of something a lot more exciting lately (with a lot more expense than I can imagine) but by this weekend I will have another spot blank on my lover book. I guess it's better getting sucked up into somebody else's romantic mind games.

About getting back on track. My focus and energy should be on my personal fitness and health this year. When the school starts I will try finding some time between gym time for cardio exercise again, to conflicting classes and work. Well I just hope I dont get burn out and get sick instead. I only know a few approaches to see what works best (by reading solely from last year magazine). I am not afraid to fail during the process, only what usually happen is that I get bored myself; I hate it when that happens! The spanish language I am so excited to learn still takes its break-- I hope that it is still in my best interest. Glad, at least I already got through to half of the first chapter. And, gotta remind myself to check in with my programme again in February.