Stop worrying

I try to make friends first. I've been told women appreciate that more. I'm now starting to realize that this was a giant lie. Some men find really amazing girlfriends with whom they have fulfilling relationships. What qualities do those men have? There's a difference between growing up and changing yourself to please others.

Some things are just not visible by just looking at them. There are guys out there who are hopeless in almost every possible way who just happen to have a girlfriend. There is something about their approach or how they live that puts them on the "yes" list. It's not always obvious above things like gold diggers and conventionally handsome people.

I'm thinking more of strategies and ways to work towards relationships other than pumping weights at the gym or changing your entire personality. People want the opposite sexes to want them, not some guise that they put on. A lot of people (both skinny and fat, tall and short) seem to somehow get away with finding someone special. It's as if some major character flaw is hiding under our noses.

You are not your id. If you want girlfriend material, then you need to become boyfriend material. This may require some small changes, or even some big ones, but you will still be you. There is no need for disguises (indeed, disguises work against you in the end). But you do need to be willing to make some accommodations for the people around you.

Stop worrying so much about getting a girlfriend, it'll happen when it happens. That's not to say don't try, but don't be desperate either. There's getting your shit together, and then there's making everything you do a performance. I don't mean this in a "I'm perfect the way I am", but to make having a significant other means you're validated in the fact that someone likes you; working your ass off just for the attention of another human being is somewhat unrewarding and way too much work.

Spelling and Grammar in the Internet

I'm all for correct spelling and grammar. I can't abide by people who don't double check their writing. Its just something that is common courtesy for your reader. I don't correct grammar as an ad hominem. I just do it because it pains me to read poorly written text. It does irk me to read something with such badspelling and grammar that it's nearly unreadable. I don't go out of my way to correct other people's spelling and grammar,the only thing I correct is when people get a little too crazy with their dyslexia. I do it too, but shit can really get jumbled, especially when swapping perspectives during a story.

Grammar and spelling are your appearance on the Internet. It's a pretty dick move to correct you on it if you aren't doing anything special, but as the message you are trying to convey becomes more important the manner in which you convey it becomes more important as well. You wouldn't really care if your buddy is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt if you're just on your couch playing video games, but that outfit wouldn't fly if he was trying to convince a crowd to vote a certain way. Simple mistakes can be ignored but as soon as you try to start an argument you might want to proof read. Like anything on the Internet: if it exists it can be made to catch people attention/ response. Simply another example of that rule...

Even if I was an English major, I'd still chill out while I'm on Internet. Even some moderator types like retard, and we might just end up offending him while he's in stalker mode. On Grammar Nazis, I feel bad because you know... everyone kinda hates them. They are always the asshole in the family.