Short Note by the end of Ramadan

I constantly feel like there are bugs crawling all over me and stuff is touching me and there's a loud ringing once in a while. I've asked some people and they said it could be schizophrenia but I don't think that I could have schizophrenia. A little restless, keeping busy however I can. Current distraction: trying to learn stuff about Money Market but no idea where to start. I miss my girlfriend, SPI very much. I'm disappointed at my life, my writing skills and basically the way the world works and what it makes people think and do.

I'm upset at the way my mother has been treating me. She knows she is neglecting me because we've talked about SPI a few times, but it never changes and I get nothing. I hate bringing it up to my mother because I've done it already several times, but the next time I do I'll probably end what I have. I won't do that until I'm ready to let my love out of my life. It breaks my heart to think SPI probably won't be in my life anymore. At least I am ready to make that decision if the time comes.

I also hate my family and blame them for my social backwardness for raising me in a way that made sexual encounters a massive taboo without marriage. I live in a small place, and people in my family are stuck up ignorant rich pieces of shit so I don't have much chance.

I want to have my own business but im not even motivated to start. Not only that, i feel like i hit my creative peak at 16, and it has been down hill since then. Too tired to do anything, too bored to sleep. but how can you be too bored to sleep? I find myself sleeping a lot when Im bored.